Count Chocula beer is real, Wheaties beer is not

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By: Casey Hendricksonchendrickson@953mnc.com

Alright, you already know how we feel about the Wheaties beer. It’s a fraud, fake, scam, etc. It isn’t a ’Wheaties’ beer unless there’s Wheaties in it, and there’s no Wheaties in that beer.

We are sure the beer is good, because Fulton is a great brewery, but that doesn’t change the fact that HefeWheaties is a bait and switch scam.

Did local favorites Burn ’Em Brewing just make a Peeps “themed” beer? No! They are ballers who sacrificed countless Peeps to make a truly  Peep infused beer.

We might be slackers at The Ale Underground, but we don’t tolerate that in our beer.

Enter Black Bottle Brewery in Fort Collins, Colo. Like Burn ’Em, they don’t play around.

If they say they are making a Count Chocula beer, you bet your sweet keister there’s going to be Count Chocula cereal in that brew. So much Count Chocula, in fact, that Black Bottle snatched up the entire local supply of Count Chocula from local grocery stores, denying countless sweet little kids the glorious Count Chocula childhood memories you and I grew up with.

Serves the little demons right for not being as awesome a generation as we are. Let them make their own memories, and stop living off of our hand-me-downs.

As epic as a Count Chocula beer is, do you think Black Bottle Brewery stopped there? Heck no! They have a whole line of stellar cereal themed beer called Cerealiously. 

Suck on that HefeWheaties!

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